Strength: Lat Pull Down, DB Push Press, Leg Press
Mobility 20 mins (a must)
We call it the infantilizing of humans; or in advertising, puffery!
And it seeps into our human interactions. How we infantilize people. Where barely modest, possibly mediocre, even ridiculously basic activities must be recognized with fanfare, fawning, and excessive, pufferied praise.
“Oh, you did the minimum required.” (Hurray you made a poopy on the potty!)
“Great job, you didn’t f&ck up or make excuses today.” (Poopy on the potty!)
“Hey, you’re a big boy, you didn’t forget to go to a meeting.” (Poopy on the potty!)
“You’re amazing; you made it all day without sleeping under your desk.” (Look at that big poopy on the potty!)
It’s mind-numbing isn’t it? And it’s so insidious, people don’t even see themselves doing it or see it happening to them. It’s just a thick fog of people creating puffery or being puffered.
Alfred Adler, the well-known psychoanalyst, had quite a bit to say about this with regard to Inferiority and Superiority Complexes. Outlining how over-indulgent parenting, along with innate characteristics, drives people to engage in over-compensating strategies
…ie, inadequacy and insecurity turns into hyper-masculinity and dominance.
But today let’s look at Weaver’s (1948) Ideas Have Consequences.
It’s an interesting treatise, and putting all else aside (ie, partisanship), check out the Chapter VI The Spoiled Child Psychology.
It couldn’t be a more compelling psychological prediction; note that here “child” refers to adult.
“The spoiled child has not been made to see the relationship between effort and reward. He wants things, but he regards payment as an imposition or as an expression of malice by those who withhold for it. His solution, as we shall see, is to abuse those who do not gratify him” (p. 113).
“The truth is that he has never been brought to see what it is to be a man. That man is the product of discipline and of forging, that he really owes thanks for the pulling and tugging that enable him to grow…” (p. 114).
And powerfully, seeing here, the term “indulgent parents” as a metaphor for everyone around the spoiled person, the culture:
“This citizen is now the child of indulgent parents who pamper his appetites and inflate his egotism until he is unfitted for struggle of any kind” (p. 114-5).
Take this idea on from multiple perspectives:
- From the person who is the spoiled-child, constantly fawned over.
- On the one hand, deserving of empathy…they are lauded with praise, labeled as awesome while never having produced any outcome worthy of their performance (just a little poopy on the potty).
- They know no better or different experience than always being exalted regardless of outcomes.
- On the other hand, after years of that fawning, the person probably is extremely difficult.
- The “inflated egotism” and narcissism creates closely what might be a “toxic personality.”
- Or from the perspective of the person who actually accomplishes adult tasks with no recognition.
- It’s disrespectful to fully-functioning adults who, everyday, chop-wood and get the job done
- …no excuses…
- and no expectation of a poopy-on-the-potty-party.
- Parents, workers, business owners, every single day, are gettin’ it done…and no, they don’t want a T-shirt.
- Or from the perspective of the fawners, the spoilers. Why?
- What is the neurosis, what is the empty part of the psyche?
- What is the self-stimulation one gets from fawning over less than adequate and/or mediocre results?
- What is the deep motivation to throw poopy-on-the-potty-parties for people?
- Adler would point us to some insecurity or over-compensation.
Ideas Have Consequences is an interesting intellectual read and exercise to pull some psychological concepts, and see how historical ideas play out; though you’d have to decide if it’s too Conservative for your brain.
****Spoiling and fawning is not good for the receiver.
…Throwing a poopy-on-the-potty-party stunts the growth of the pooper.
…In the end, the person is less independent and more demanding of something for nothing!
…Reference last year’s study on Praise and Narcissism
…Researchers looking at superiority in children found that children of excessively praising parents were more likely to score high on narcissism (ie, “kids like me deserve something extra”)
****Spoiling and fawning is not good for the provider.
…fawners highlight their superficial engagement with the world.
…”pampering appetites and inflating egotism” of others erodes the selves of the fawners
…poopy-on-the-potty-parties are transparent, self-serving events; fawners hope it reflects more on them than the pooper.
…”Person X did as little as possible to get by, let’s throw a poopy-on-the-potty-party…can we get some pics for FB?”
…odd how we’d rather try to inflate accomplishments with puffery (to gain favor for ourselves)
…rather than acknowledge someone actually doing meaningful, high-quality, productive, and thoughtful work!
What’s that mean in fitness?
Eat less, clean, light prepared foods at home. No, there’s no “fucking medal”; it’s what responsible adults do.
Move and exercise adequately and properly. No, there’s no entitlement to something in return; it’s what responsible adults do.
It’s a bizarre cultural tradition now…clouded by puffery…to throw and/or expect poopy-on-the-potty-parties. If you get an invite, don’t RSVP.